There is a saying “work with the horse that you have in front of you today” They are unlikely to be the same horse that you worked with yesterday. So, in other-words, if the horse in front of you is presenting themselves as a round peg try and be flexible. Be confident enough to know, you’re quite capable of having a rewarding time while teaching your horse a million things as a round hole.
If you go in thinking, I’m going to do ABC and your horse is thinking XYZ, then do XYZ. Until they’ve warmed their minds up and they’re willing and open to start thinking about ABC.
If you keep constantly insisting that the horse has to reshape to what your perception of the day is the probability is you’re going to end up quite frustrated, disappointed and neither of you will enjoy it.
You won’t enjoy it because you didn’t achieve the goal that you set out for yourself that day. In addition, they won’t enjoy it because the goal that you set out for them was not achievable at that time. Allow them to say to you, “today, you know what, I can’t be a square peg, I’ve got to be round”.
Don’t set them up to fail, look for the win!
Not all days are like that, as a matter of fact, most days it’s possible to work with the horse that started off as a round peg and get them into a position where they’re thinking “oh yeah it’s a good idea, I’m going to be square”, but there is no point in battling with them.
If it becomes a battle of wills, just because you want to do that thing today then you have to ask yourself how important is it. Tomorrow things will be different if you listen today, if you are able to say “okay today I’m a square hole, he’s a round peg and I’m going to put that to one side and I will become a round hole, so we’re going to fit, we’re going to have a great day”. They see that you listened, not to mention you showed them patience and understanding.
The next time you present yourself and they have different ideas the likelihood is they’re going to be much more willing and open to say “hold on a minute let’s meet halfway, I’ll be oval and you be oval” and then the next time they’re going to say “okay you’re Square, I’ll give that a go”.
With this in mind, the key is to remember that it’s not their job to be manipulated and forced into your preconceived agenda. It’s your job to convince them that it’s actually a good idea. A good idea to be part of the journey of the day that you have set out. The only way you get to do that is if you show them that at any time they have a problem with that agenda you are willing to listen.
What Champ said…
Today, with Champ, I planned to work on yielding away and moving round me. I was looking to smooth off those flat “away thinking” sides, encouraging a nice bend so he was “straight”. Part of this is lateral flexing. I was then going to work on disengaging the hind and stepping over at the fore. However, my agenda was brought to a swift stop.
He said to me, “you know what, I’m happy to laterally flex if you’re stood in my left eye bending to the left, but I’m not quite so happy if you are stood on the right”.
The first time we tried it he moved a lot, walking around. Once he stood still, I came back to the front and tried again and that’s when he kept blocking me with his head. So halfway through our session today he became a different shape. I had to change into a shape that was closer to his idea of the day at that time.
Waiting for neutral. 
As I move his head begins to block. 
Keeping me in his left eye. 
Listening I release. 
Moving back to a neutral position 
As he reflects he releases tension.
I didn’t give up, but I allowed him to say I’m not comfortable with that please back off and wait ; so I did. After he relaxed I moved again to place myself on his right and again he blocked me. I waited. The first time he gave me a signal that he was more comfortable I gave him a rub, to show him that if he let me in it would result in a reward.
Once comfortable I rub his right cheek. 
Eventually moving to his left side.
As soon as he fully let me in his right eye, without any blocking or stress indicators, I just waited for a couple of minutes until he was comfortable for me to hang out on that side of him. Rubbing and scratching making it a good deal for him. Once he decided it was okay we did get our lateral flexing down that side. He was soft and willing with no pressure on the line.
If you’re in too much of a hurry and your goals are too rigid, if you’re not willing to be fluid, flexible and free eventually you get a stiff horse both physically and mentally. A horse just waiting for you to tell them what to do, told what shape to take. Rather than a horse saying oh look you’re a round hole today, okay I’ll be your round Peg. That’s a true partnership.
Thanks for listening.
“Connect with their MINDS and their Bodies will Follow”
THE WHOLE HORSE CODE
Other Stuff
Another blog post that you may find helpful, also the subject of Listening Don’t Just Hear Listen.
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