The F words I am referring to are FREEZE, FLIGHT and FIGHT. For a horse to run through them in a conversation with you depends on your ability to listen and the energy they have. In other words, the manifestation and build up is all based on their reserves, both mentally and physically to ensure their survival, while waiting for you to “catch up”.
Horses have a finite amount of energy to expend on you. The harder it is for them to get you to hear them the quicker they will get to that last F word!
The investment they have to make in all three states is high and you can argue that to freeze is the biggest investment of mental energy as they internalized themselves but all have a physical impact.
The F Words
FREEZE :
The first would be freeze. They are blocking you out, trying to turn down the white noise that you’re creating. Often you don’t exist for them in that moment. It is almost like they are putting their fingers in their ears going “la la la la la la la” hoping you either hear them or go away.
FLIGHT :
The next level is flight. This is a physical burst of energy which takes a lot out of them, but there’s an end to it. They flight, they get themselves safe, they stop they look around and give themselves time to ask “are we safe?” “do I have relief?” And if they feel they are/have, they begin to relax, they begin to regain a rhythm of breathing.
FIGHT :
The third option fight, when they’re coming at you aggressively for example a bite or strike or defending themselves by kicking turning their back on you. This is the riskiest strategy for them as it involves physical engagement and the most energy. So naturally will be their last resort.
Self Preservation
You need to be aware that if they have been frozen and you paid no attention, the next escalation of their conversation is to flight. If you did not pay attention again they have only one other place to go, or conversation to have to make you listen, and that is fight.
Therefore considering that fight is their last choice, the question you need to ask yourself is, did you listen to what they said before reaching that point?
If you start ignoring the freeze soon enough it goes very quickly into flight, if you ignore that it will jump to fight.
Q. What happens if you continually do that?
A. The time that the horse spends in each of the phases will reduce.
This means you build a direct line to FIGHT. They freeze and wait until you pay attention, if you miss it they move to flight and wait, looking at you to reconnect and if you don’t pay attention to flight they move to fight.
Because your horse is wired to conserve energy, if they see you are not listening they’re not going to wait a long time in freeze before they move to flight and consequently the time that they arrive at fight will come around quicker each time.
The last resort…
It will appear your horse jumps straight to fight, but I guarantee that there are subtle cues that are given before that. They used to be much longer and much more obvious but because you didn’t pick up on them they will conserve the energy and “get loud” quicker so you hear them sooner. This habit eventually creates what you believe to be a dangerous horse. When all they are doing is communicating in the best way they know for you to hear them. They say to themselves “well they don’t listen to the freeze, they’re not listening to the flight, so I have only one more option to communicate and conserve energy and that is the fight.” Each and every time…
Our lives are all about the big, brash and bold and we are losing that ability to pick up on the little things. We look for the grabbing headlines when really we should be reading the small print. In the small print the horse gives you, is all the details that you need. It is like a contract, but eventually they do not offer you the small print, only the dramatic headline, and it’s not one you’re going to like to read.
“I don’t want to have to shout but…”
I recently started working with a horse, she’s very sweet but her “go to” communication with humans is closer to the fight than freeze or flight. And that’s because over time it’s the only one people listened to. She has learned that if she is going to be ignored and the human is not considering the subtle cues given of confusion, stress and anxiety to conserve energy and get a result that gives her relief, she has no other option than fight.
What is really sad is inside this horse is a very beautiful, sweet soul but we humans have told her that her only way of communicating with us is the behaviour that she demonstrates and ironically we don’t want!
How Would You Feel?
Imagine you’re having a conversation with somebody and they are just not listening. They have asked you a question and you’re trying to give them the answer, and before you get to the crux of the answer they interrupt you. So you get a little louder and shorter with your response. Insisting they listen. “Listen, listen to what I’m saying this is the answer, pay attention because it’s important”, but they interrupt you again. You will eventually start shouting at them. “LISTEN TO WHAT I AM SAYING”, or give up.
Once you arrive at that point you’ve lost the connection, the person doesn’t appreciate the reaction that you gave even though they created it by not listening and you’re in a much more negative headspace because you have had to shout.
If they had only listened in the first place, hey 😉 …..
Thanks for listening.
“Connect with their MINDS and their Bodies will Follow”
THE WHOLE HORSE CODE
Other Stuff
CLINIC. October 19th. Location: Masia Katmandu Spain.
In our Connection clinic on the 19th of October we will cover some of this behaviour. You can book by clicking here or if you have facebook here for English o aqui por español
Another blog post that you might like Playful Protest when a horse displays tension and anxiety, and releases with an explosion of energy. It is neither an aggressive, or a defensive action and leads to open channels of learning
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